Monday, October 20, 2008 @ Monday, October 20, 2008

I feel like a contrite sinner right now..

My mum jus barge herself into my room at 12.42am..

She should be sleeping by now...

Yet she asked me can she talk to me..

I just orh...

Mum: Seriously speaking, I suspect u r .....

Me: No..mum..can you just stop feeling so suspicion..

Mum: It's so obvious...all thoes hints...

Me : It doesn't mean i have a lots of L frenz...mean tat i am one

(just keep denying...denying it....)

Mum: I dunno...I am very worry ...I dun wan you to be...

(walking out of my room...)

Me: ......................................................................................................

Coming out to one's parent just seem so hard to do..

I see others parent so accepting...so open...so....(n the lists can go on and on..)

But mine....haiz...

I can understand their feeling...

Imagine raising up a baby girl in a normal family setting...with both a pair of normal parent...and a normal lifestyle...

What could anything go wrong..?

I try...I had try...

It just seem so hard to be what they expect me as "normal"

Some of my friends asked me before that is it because of my dad..
tat make me turn out this way...

No...My dad is a great guy..a loving father who know how to listen to his own children..

Even my mum sometime think that he spends too much time on me and my bro at home..

I dun mind...he is a great joker...always the one who make me laugh until my stomach hurts...

But I dunno..ever since I'm young...I already noe I like gurls..

I know it's wrong..wrong..wrong..

My mum say it's disgusting..my relatives loathed it...my aunt followed me to my working place...

I struggle through all that damn phrase b4 accepting myself for who am i...

Other than this issue..I am alright..I dun skip school...I attend my lessons...I have a lots of great guy frenzs...I am participative in my own IG...I have try to be what my parent expect me to be..

I have try to wreck out that so call "abnormal" side of me...

It's hurts...unless I stop breathing...so my heart wun hurt like crazy...

Mum...stop pressuring me...

I hate to see your tears...tat's y i choose to lie..

If u wan to know the truth..it might hurt u...

Just stop asking me...

Tat's all i ask from u...

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