Wednesday, December 31, 2008 @ Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye, my lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?'

Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bear my soul in time,When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

"I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. "

P/S last line not counted..^^

"变化比安排来的快，所以不要百分之百肯定。。“

那句是一位朋友告诉我的。。

对啊，我就是喜欢安排。。。这样我才不会感到茫然。。

没办法。。。我从小就是这样。。。

但她是说对了。。变化五常。。

当你认为应该会没事的时候。。。命运却在为你安排另外一件事。。
有时候，从一个乐观的角度看的话。。或许“它” 正在拉着你到一个更快乐的领域。。。

十八岁真的没有白活过。。

本来安排了好多好多事。。。却又必须让自己不停的随着我的命运转化。。

我啊。。十三岁还以为我应该会傻傻呆呆的度过我的年轻时期。。。

没有啊。。现在如果我回去找我十三岁的样子跟她说这就是以后的你。。

我觉的她会吓倒。。。哈哈。。。

爱过了。受伤过了。
爱过了。流泪过了。
爱过了。痛苦过了。
爱过了。麻木过了。

现在我不想去抓紧那些不属于我的事物。。

"What happened will happened..."

那句话听起来真的好不爽哦。。。哈哈。。

对啊。。你越不想让它发生。。却发生了。。

与其在那里跟自己挣扎。。自己烦恼。。自己责怪自己错在哪。。

放手吧。。。当我一放手的那一刻。。

我全身放松下来。。有一种我刚差一点掩水却被救回来。。

我把那些“海水”咳出来之后。。。看到我的家人，我身旁的朋友。。

我并没有失去什么。。

她已经变成我的好朋友了。。昨晚跟她说话的时候真的好轻松。。好自在。。

心里还会有一点遗憾。。但够了。。

曾经深深爱过了。。。我已经很满足了。。

谢谢你。。。

这样就够了。。。我终于笑了。。

我希望你会找到那个更适合你的人。。。

"I deserve a chance to be happy.."

Nobody is taking it away...no one...only u urself..

我的结已经打开了。。你呢？

明年会是更好的一年。。。。

打算把自己泡在运动里面。。音乐里面。。还有很多很多。。

明年打算回到我十七岁脸皮厚的时期。。这样比较好玩。。

２００８再见了。。

２００９我来了。。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。

想好好疯狂一次。。。。想把“梦”里的那个我找回来。。

我想再“坏”多一次。。。。＝DDDDD

不会再让自己沉浸在不快乐的事上。。。

这是一个爱我自己的做法。。。

~lots of huggies to all my faithful readers...

P/s It been a tough year..next year will be better...=DDDD

Give me all yours encouragement...

^^

I am really to embark a new life now...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008 @ Tuesday, December 30, 2008

这是她要我听的第一首歌。。。

我真的是因为有了她，我的生命变得很不一样。。

以后如果想她的话，就听这首歌。。

现在是早上七点钟。。。

好早哦。。。

睡不下去了。。。

满头脑正在想着今年所发生的事。。

每一件所发生的事情还是那么的清楚。。流过的眼泪。。。发过的脾气。。。她们的笑容。。。

她们的眼泪。。。她们曾经对我付出的一切。。。

我真的好想说一声谢谢。。。

没有你们，就没有现在的我。。。

我昨晚终于被敲醒了。。被她敲醒。。。

我曾经对爱情没有抱着一种责任。。只是想曾经拥有就好了。。

我今年没有好好的静下来好好的去想。。

一直就这样往前走。。。。至到我遇到她。。

起初，我对她对爱情的责任有点不知所措。。。

我不懂怎么去处理。。让她伤心了。。

说实话，她的心痛真的是我的致命。。。

她的每一个情绪都可以影响我一整天的心情。。。

后来随着一天一天的过去，我第一次真正去想我跟她的未来。。。

我要我的未来有她的存在。。。有她的影子。。有她可爱的笑容。。有她温柔的眼神。。有她的的拥抱。。。

这所有的一些，我都会好好的放在我的记忆里面。。。

因为我曾经告诉过一个我爱过的女孩，“永远都会存在，在你这里。。”

我就轻轻地点在她的头上。。那就是记忆。。。

现在我会把我跟她的爱情化为最美丽的记忆。。。

不管以后发生什么事。。我都希望我还会看到她那可爱的笑容。。。

只要她开心，我什么都能接受。。。

以后的事再说吧。。我会记住的。。。

我也做错事。。我看不到。。。很感谢那些曾经要帮修改那些我做过的傻事。。

我不能不否认我还爱着她。。所以第一次只想静下来好好过我的生活。。。

明年，我会把我所有的精神放在学校。。朋友。。家人。。。和我自己。。

直到我心里没有她为止，要不然我不会在有新的恋情。。

累了。。。好累啊。。今年怎么搞得。。

我。。好想重新再来。。。回到我中学那个我。。那个还不懂世面的我。。还不懂什么是爱情的刺猬。。

但人总是的长大的。。。是好？是坏？没有人会给得到一个对的答案。。

现在８点了，她也应该起床了。。（“早安。。”）

你知道吗？虽然只是短短的三个月，对我来说就好象过了三年似的。。。

爱一个人。。。是幸福的。。

被爱。。。更是幸福。。

昨天在朋友家看了一部电影。。

它有一幕很感人。。。

（他写了辛苦的辛，后来在辛的一点加多一条线，辛就变成幸福的幸。。）

就算爱情的路不好走。。一踏上了。。不要回头。。。不管前面有太多的阻碍。。走下去。。

因为幸福的终点就在那。。

但是我。。好想乘明年疼我自己。。爱我自己。。

不要在有什么爱情了。。。有什么痛苦了。。有什么眼泪。。有什么担心。。

我想一个人过着自己的生活。。。

一个人，也许是好事。。

我啊。。曾经也这样一个人开开心心的过了十六年。。

后来，也许我好玩。。我不懂事。。我不知道。。

我虽然可以在学校让老师们都喜欢我。。朋友们爱戴我。。拿一个漂亮的成绩

我对那些爱我的人却是那么残忍。。对不起。。。

那些我爱过的和现在还爱着她的我。。。对不起。。。

明年我不想在犯同样的错误。。同样的事情。。

十九岁了。。不可以再这样了。。

长大了。。。该是醒来了时候。。

我不想在自私了。。也许，有时候人需要自私来得到他们的幸福。。

但着一次，我真的好累。。好累。。

我真的想用明年好好的把我对她的感觉。。。说不出。。。咳。。

总之，我不想把我之前对别人的感觉跟着以后爱我的人。。

因为，对以后那个她是一种心理的不安。。。一种说不出来的痛。。比肉体上的痛还痛吧。。。

等到我确定我对她。。。又在说不出。。。再说吧。。。

我真的好想抱着一个朋友。。痛快的哭出来。。。

一哭。。就会没事了。。

傻瓜。。。我不管啦。。你要做我一辈子的朋友。。。

“我爱你。。。”

如果心里还有我。。就来这里读这一个篇。。

我哪里都不去。。。永远都是你最好。。最好的朋友。。。

明年，加油。。。

Monday, December 29, 2008 @ Monday, December 29, 2008

Nice right...

First time doing such thing with meng and Ida..

FUn..

We also rent 2 films to watch today...

我很想告诉你我不爱你了。。

我的确说了。。告诉自己要好好的跟你做朋友。。

以后发生什么事情。。你还会在那里。。

起码我还可以看到你。。

对。。时间会带走一切的感情。。一切的恨。。一切所有不开心的事。。。

就好好给我几个月。。。我会让它慢慢的淡掉。。

朋友是当然做的成。。。

但是，但我知道时那件事的时候。。。好痛。。。好痛。。。

我讨厌我自己对你的感觉还那么深。。。

我真的很想好好的跟你做好朋友。。

真的。。。

可以吗？

你应该知道。。。有些事情是有限的。。不是每一个事情都是那么完美。。

Sunday, December 28, 2008 @ Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sometime, I wish I can go back to who I was when I was in Secondary school..

Immerse in my own world, go out with frenz, play around with my frenzs and etc..

I used to have this mindset toward love..

"Love doesn't mean one have to be together with the other person.."

I am going to use it again...

I rather be frenz to be steading with any ppl now..

No more again..

Sick of all the pain..bitter and blah blah blah..

Not anymore...

The consequence of love is too much for me to bear...

I wanna be free out of it...tired of tat word call love..

@ Sunday, December 28, 2008

Today as usual went to work at Saturday...

Today was quite pretty interesting...

There is this SUmo-wrestler size lady wearing a "Mr ASShole" T-shirt and a long draggy pant come it..

To say the truth, I am not really against her abt her wearing tat "asshole" T-shirt or her Giant Size..

IT's her HAIR...

ROFL..LOL..IMAO...XDDD

Just imagine a Rebond hair being cut into a bowl shape size....OMG...

I was trying my best to curb down my laughter....She really look so FUNNy...

I wish i can snap her pic...but too bad..I can't...haha

Anyway, Regine come and find me today to get back her earphone...

Finally, she is drinking something normal (green tea)

haha...Ida and MEngyun Came and give me a big surprise..

I was O.O...too surprise to say anything..haha

We just crap around...and laugh around...

hahaa...Ida is so FUNNY today..wheeeeeeeeeee...

I feel comfortable with her around..can really stick my feet to the ground and be myself..

Thanks IDa...^^

Meng arh...Still trying to figure out will our frenzship be as close as me and IDa...

LOL....

Organise some of my stuffs in my lappy yesterday...

Seriously, a lots of junkie...

But there is this essay which caught my eyes...

I find it quite meangingful...


有一种爱，挂着泪珠，但很凄美，它叫做放弃！

放弃真的是另一种爱？放弃真的是另一种幸福？确切的说，放弃是另一种方式的拥有！自己狼狈地退出，这不是伟大，而是因为在放与不放之间我明白了，感情是不能勉强的，也勉强不来，就算我死死地抓住，抓住的是什么？是伤痕，是痛苦！把手握紧，里面什么也没有，把手松开，我拥有的是一切。


最痛苦的，莫过于是徘徊在放与不放之间的那一段。真正下决心放弃了，反而，会有一种释然的感觉。从此，痛和爱都深深埋进心里。

人生就是这样，难免有痛，难免有伤，无论我是否曾经抓住抑或远去，那些东西都不可能离我而去，虽然有些事不能回首，有些回忆不能梳理，有些人只能永远埋藏。


爱上一个人是一件很麻烦的事，特别是你不知不觉中会为她放弃了很多事，为她做了很多事。而她却死终坚持某种东西，不肯放弃时，那你是走进一个地狱，很苦很苦。特别是到最后她却说，错的是你，这一切是你自找的。


一个人一生可以爱上很多人的，而等你获得真正属于你的幸福之后，你就会明白以前的放弃其实是一种财富，放弃让你学会更好地去把握和珍惜。不是因为你得到了想得到的，而是因为你是在为自己而活，所以你要学会放弃。

放弃是一门艺术，它不是叫你盲目的逃避，而是要你明白痛苦的维系还不如放弃！学会放弃，在落泪以前转身离去，留下简单的背影。将昨天埋在心底，留下最美好的回忆。学会放弃，让彼此都能有个更轻松的开始，遍体鳞伤的爱并不一定就刻骨铭心！爱一个人，就要让他快乐，让他幸福，使那份感情更诚挚。如果你做不到，还是放手吧！放弃何尝不是另一种美丽！

一抹朝阳云散尽抚琴诉情悠扬彻云霄此番心思堪谁知纵是无情亦有情许多的事情，总是在经历过以后才会懂得。比如感情，痛过了，才会懂得如何保护自己；傻过了，才会懂得适时的坚持与放弃，在得到与失去中我们慢慢地认识自己。其实，生活并不需要这么些无谓的执著，没有什么就真的不能割舍。学会放弃，生活会更容易。

学会放弃，在落泪以前转身离去，留下简单的背影；学会放弃，将昨天埋在心底，留下最美好的回忆；学会放弃，让彼此都能有个更轻松的开始，遍体鳞伤的爱并不一定就刻骨铭心。这一程情深缘浅，走到今天，已经不容易，轻轻地抽出手，说声再见，真的很感谢，这一路上有你。曾说过爱你的，今天，仍是爱你。只是，爱你，却不能与你在一起。一如爱那原野的火面合，爱它，却不能携它归去。


　　问世间情是何物，直叫生死相许……

Nice essay rite?

遍体鳞伤的爱并不一定就刻骨铭心.....I finally understand tat...

说声再见，真的很感谢，这一路上有你。

曾说过爱你的，今天，仍是爱你。只是，爱你，却不能与你在一起....

I think I developed a new kind of insight again...

最痛苦的，莫过于是徘徊在放与不放之间的那一段。真正下决心放弃了，反而，会有一种释然的感觉....

Finish le...

Now waiting for MonDAY...MoVIE day...

Muahahha..Ida...wink...

Friday, December 26, 2008 @ Friday, December 26, 2008

[i]MenG[/i] says:

MenG says: I dnt wan to PLay with relationsHip so i
told them tat y nt we b fren 1st then we gt to nOe eachother better le then
Decide

^ S0toNg' MEe (>")> ^( '' )^ <("<) [ 恋は盲目 ❤ ] (・ω・)/
says:
iic

^ S0toNg' MEe (>")> ^( '' )^ <("<) [ 恋は盲目 ❤ ] (・ω・)/
says:

well, gd Decision u madE

MenG says:

Cos i wan e relatiosHip tat can last long so i rather choose to b fren 1st then let all of us to tHink n make decision cos i cnt b selfish to do the Decision
alone

Thursday, December 25, 2008 @ Thursday, December 25, 2008

Love is probably the most lethal weapon in this world..

Coz u dun have claim over it...

The feeling of your soul being tear apart by it is probably the most painful thing in this world...

I just wan to ask for one thing....

a sense of peace.............

I finally see through everything.............

I wanna have a long break........

I wanna get high with my frenz..I wanna go to Pub...I wanna go to PLAY..I wanna get drunk at party...I wanna scream n shout in camp..I wanna sweat in games..I wanna jam my piano like nv before...I wanna be myself.......I wanna make more new frenzs....

I wanna change myself from inside out....

I wanna run....

I wanna be who am I..........I wanna find back myself...................

I dunno if I have the ability to love again...

I find myself numb again........

Last time.."lao gong"

我爱你。。。这三个字。。。我不会在写给你了。。以后都不会。。

好好过你的生活。。

我也会过好自己的生活。。

我们以后会变成很好的朋友。。

心里的痛会随着时间慢慢淡下来。。

到那时我应该会想当初我怎么会爱上你。。。哈哈。。

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 @ Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Libera

Sanctus

O Come all ye faithful

Libera is the song that make me stopped outside the store a few days ago..

Their High pitch voice sound so heavenly...

I was considering if I should buy to buy the CD just for the track...

Den their voices sounded again...

I just forget it...I wanna buy it..I dun care...

It is so amazing...Their voices...I can just lied down n listen...

Libera by Sanctus..

The English translation for this amazing song is:

Holy, holy, holy Lord,

God of power and might, heaven and earth are full of your glory.

Hosanna in the highest.

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

Hosanna in the highest.

It comes from Matthew 21:9 describing Jesus Christ's entrance into Jerusalem on Psalm Sunday.

Through I am not a christian...n choose to believe in reincarnation n karma..

I really like their worship songs...

It can calm me down...n soothe all my worries away...

It allows me to get in touch with my spiritual self..

Tat's y I can sit for hours in a church just by listening to their songs...

It's sound weird right....for a non christian ppl to be like tat...haha..

But tat's me..

I will be going to the CHC church at Expo to watch X'mas drama with my frenzs...

Last year was a bit plain...this year...I hope for sth better...^^

This year eve, Lao gong can't pei me...she needs to pei her mummy..

Sigh...it's okkkkkkkkkkk...

Without her..I can still be happy..hmpf...........

I will pass her the last X'mas gift tml...

Hope she will be =DDDD away..

By the way, Merry X'mas to all my faithful readerssssssssss...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 @ Tuesday, December 23, 2008

YES MAN is damn HiLArIOUs!!!

Jim really did a good job...

From a heck care guy to a guy who is brimming with energy to try anything in this world..

"You must say yes to anything..."

And he really did...

A granny wan to go to bed with him...he was struggling with himself b4 he agree to her...haha

Meet up with Ida and Regine today...

Yeah..Ida brought me a can of chocolate...=DDDD

So sweet of her...

Today is my first time meeting Regine...and I find tat she is kinda Strong in some way even she looks like a "kid".....hahahah

Jus kidding...=P

We chat a lot of stuffs....n crap a lots....

Quite an interesting frenz... ^^

JYJY for ur coming O-level...

=DDDDDD

Monday, December 22, 2008 @ Monday, December 22, 2008

Sunday, December 21, 2008 @ Sunday, December 21, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 @ Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Monday, December 15, 2008 @ Monday, December 15, 2008

"It was impossible… to stop. Impossible. But I did. I must love you...."

Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 24, p.460

Sunday, December 14, 2008 @ Sunday, December 14, 2008

I was chewing my prata when my dad sat down in front of me telling me that there will be a camera fair down in some place today...

I was >.<...later gig to work lo...how to go down..

He start to yank yank non stop abt the qualities of each one...I keep looking at them...with this
I-want-it-but-yet-I-can't-have-it look...

Den my dad say the magic sentence, "Do you might paying in installment?"

OF COZ...I dun mind at all..as long I can get my hand on one cool sleek camera...tat'll be my best X'mas "GIFT"..

I dun might paying 50 dollars per month...^^

Whippie..yeappie...whoppies.....wahhhh....Camera...Finally can own one GOOD one...

No need to go tru the begging camera process with my dad again..

Can have many good shots with it..

Especially with my most dearest gf cum lao gong..

I dun care..you must take a lots of picture with me...=DDDDD

@ Sunday, December 14, 2008

Panda eyes...swollen eyes....

I only spent 2 hours sleeping yesterday at East coast..

Taste vanilla flavour volka...a bit creamy..

After one cup and a half...I found my whole head spinning..

But I know that i am still sober, just was too weak too move or do anything...

For no reason, sometime I wanna lost all my strength and be weak for a moment...

You guys might call me pervert...But when i wake up..I feel refresh and alert...

It helps me to cherish the moment when i am alert to the things around me..

I remember when i am awake...I see the black sky...the leaves...smell the scent of the night...
her.......

I miss her..........so much...........

Thursday, December 11, 2008 @ Thursday, December 11, 2008

I can feel my blood gushing from my neck to my head...

"WHere's my WALLET?!"

I flipped my bag upside down and shake..shake...only books come out..no sight of my wallet...T.T

My heart was thumping madly as i hurried down to basemement...just in search of a tiny hope tat some kind soul will return my wallet to the information counter..

>.<..."No wallet was being found..."

I called my parent..."ask ur frenz staying in Ang Mo kio to lend u some money..."

I called Ida...she is having her own stuffs...

I see thousand and thousand of ppl walking to and forth....with me standing in the middle with out IC...without POSB card..without Ez-link card..Without Money...

I really lost my own self at tat very moment....

But I had my hp..LAo gong came into my mind...

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG....without her..I think I'm still stranded down at AMK...

Her uncle is way too cool..offer her to drive her down to pass me $$...(MUACKIE)

He might be old...but well he look quite well...dashing..and tall..(1.8 or 1.9)

Nice pair of eyes....hahaha

But he is just like any other friendly uncle...

Thanks..LAo gong...

When I see her from a distance...I feel myself relax and calm down...

If her uncle is not there..I will hug her.....too bad...

Love U SOOO much,,,,,,,

OWN u a MILLON HUGGIES.............

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 @ Tuesday, December 09, 2008

As usual...keep coughing like mad in class...-.-(Thanks Ida..^^)

I really wanna thanks one person...Fei Fan...without her..i think I can cough cough cough non stop...

She give me 3 herbal tea sweets...

I feel myself speaking like a normal people after tat...it's indeed a miracle..

Next time when i cough...I think I will buy one can of it...

=DDD

Lao gong finally come today to school..

She wears a white shirt and I think FBT ....plus the slippers ...LOL

Anyway...she looks great n huggable...

Went to have lunch at TRCC cafe with her..

She was complaning it was so far to travel from the East side all the way to the North side of Singapore...n she swears she wun choose RP as any of her choice..LOL

Good..LOL....

So when i found her...she was tired cum hungry cum a bit sluggish...poor her...

But she feel ok after her starving session is over at TRCC...haha...

We went to look for her guitar teacher...Ida..

Went over to TRCC level 2 to practise and being crazy jumping over there without shoes...

I just find out I really need to find back my own strength n my good old "devil" side..

My mum had really successfully tame me to be her obedient gurl..but well I am not tat guai actually...

My first time walking barefoot at TRCC level 2 without anybodies eyes except Ida..me n her...

Kinda cool...duncha think so?? (wink..)

Ida say Meng yun (GF) is a fast learner....can pick up the strumming in just a min...

haha...jyjy..lao gong..I will be waiting for ur full song...we got a lots of time in the world...

Ida is a patient teacher....haha....can really see tat...

She lend my gf her guitar for her to practise at home...

My gf went from "." to ^^

haha...She was touching the guitar so gently in her own hand....

She want one guitar...tml maybe we will be shopping for one for her...

Ok..gotta go..b4 my mummy pluck off the connection again...("wink")

P.S I am not a mummy gurl..but sometime situation force me to be tat way...haiz...

@ Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Went out with lao gong yesterday to Orchard for a movie session...

BOLT...

I love tat white doggy....He's just simply CUTE....

She loves Rhino tat furball...I notice sth..she like chubby...furry...and a bit silly characters..

HAHA...Rhino really looks like her...(ahem..I mean characters...)

If u guys r curious abt her...check out tat movie..u'll have a few ideas on hw my gf is like..muahahahha...

She is quite bz sms-ing to her frenz....well...I am ok abt it...as long she wun bang into a lampost while msg-ing...den it'll be ok..=D

Lao Gong brought me a pair of hawaiian slippers...damn cool...haha..(a red base...)

My early x'mas gift...(ring...ring...ring...)

I also brought her one...(it's a blue base...)

We got the same pair...haha..just different colours...^^

After tat..Ida and steph call to say they want to meet us..

Ida looks so coooooool yesterday..makeup...blue contact lenses...sunglasses..n everything...

Quite wild..had this clubbing gurl look...unlike the good old huggable Ida..HAHAA

We sat at burgerking for quite a long period to chat....

Following tat..we went to kinokuniya to walk around until the light is being switch off...

Lao gong...sorry abt being so short temper...

Hope u r still sleeping soundly n able to come to my School in time...

I wanna seeeeeee u.........=DDDDDDDDDDDDD

Sunday, December 07, 2008 @ Sunday, December 07, 2008

I just figure out sth today...

I had been expecting too much from someone...

I keep overlooking some of her good and spot her flaw instead...

Well....I think I should be happy tat I am still on her mind...

Even....lol..forget it...

She had been too forgiving and tolerating some of my "immature" behaviors and thinking...

I simply love her for tat...

She give me a lots of freedom...and I will treasure it...

I think I just grow up a few min ago...

I dun usually have this kind of thinking b4...

I am a selfish brat in love actually..haha..ya..as if..

For all of this small little things...It's enough for me...=D

NUM tml!!...Wheeee...

Saturday, December 06, 2008 @ Saturday, December 06, 2008

今天期中考，学校早一点放学，我打了通电话给他。

：喂，我今天比较早放学，你来载我回家好不好？

：好，等我五分钟。

：五分钟？我学校就在你家旁边耶。

：我总要打扮一下啊。

：好啦，快一点喔。

下午2：00，太阳大的让我有种冲动想喷鼻血，我站在树荫下挥动着手，虽然没凉到哪里去，但是煽总比不煽好。

五分钟过了，他还没来，我看看手表，有点不高兴，十分钟过了，他还没到..，该不会出了什么事吧？

呸呸呸...乌鸦嘴，十五分钟过了，他总算到了。 ：怎么这么慢？

他一副无所谓的样子说：没啊，看个电视。

什么？看个电视？你要不要顺便睡个觉洗个澡吃个饭再来？

我没有说话，没有拿安全帽，没有上车的瞪着他。

：对不起。 这是他第一次对我说对不起，他是一个很大男人主义，爱面子的男生，所以他从不像女生低头说对不起，我看着他，好吧，似乎面有惭色，我带上安全帽，让他载我回家。

他总是这样，从来不解释，不争论，不跟我吵架，只跟我说对不起，有些事，不是一句对不起就能解决的，但是他都跟我道歉了，我也就没再追究下去，他说，我是第一个让他说对不起的女生。

认错需要很大的勇气，但是他从来都没有改进他的错误，对不起反而变成一种打发我的话。在他说第59次对不起时，我流着泪，低下头说：你不要再跟我说对不起了，如果你无法改变，就不要让我给你一次又一次的机会，相信你会改变。

他轻轻的拥着我，说了第60句对不起。

虽然如此，他还是没有改变，不做任何的解释，我开始怀疑他是不是有事瞒着我。

：你最近怎么了？

：没有啊。

：那你为什么心情不好？

：没有啊。

：又是没有啊，你除了这句话以外没有别的吗？你知不知道我很担心，很没有安全感，你到底有没有当我是你女朋友？

：...对不起。

：我不要听你说对不起。

我挂了电话，他也没有打来，他根本就不在乎我，也许，我们该结束..........这是他说的第99句对不起....。

从 那天开始，我再也没有找过他，他也没有打电话给我，有时候，我会接到一通无声的电话，但是我喂了几声，就挂了，有一种直觉是他，但是他为什么都不说话？

一 个月之后，我按奈不住思念的心情决定到他学校找他，我在教室外东张西望的，就是没有看到他的人影，我随便抓了一个男生来问。

：同学，请问一下，梦伟今天有来吗？

：他休学了。

：啊？为什么？什么时候的事？

：他已经一个月没来了。

：...喔..谢谢。一个月.

.一个月没来，怎么会呢？

我跌跌撞撞的回到家..拨他的手机：您的电话已经为您转到语音信箱，请在嘟一声...。我挂了电话，打到他家，响了好久都没有人接，怎么会？全家移民吗？

他仿佛是从这世界上消失了一样，没有一点痕迹。

他该不会另结新欢了吧？我开始胡思乱想，我找不到他..，正当我烦恼的时候，电话突然响了，是阿立打来的，他是梦伟的死党也是我的好友。

：喂，你还在干嘛啊？

：什么？：梦伟在医院啦。

：真的？他怎么了？

：没有啦，他在XXX医院，就是你上次住的那一家。

：我马上去。

我立刻用我出生以来最大的速度飙到那家医院，在医院看到了他爸爸和妈妈，我向他们问了他在哪一间病房之后，就急忙的飞奔而去。

他躺在床上，眼睛看着我，没有说话，没有起床，一动也不动的。

：喂，你怎么了？为什么不通知我呢？

他没有回答我，只是一直用同样的眼神看着我。：回答我啊，你为什么不说话？ 他眼角留下了一滴泪，身体仿佛用了最大的力气，牵动着嘴角：...对不起...。

说完，他闭上了眼睛。 ：喂，你别装了好不好，为什么要说对不起，我不要你说对不起啊，你起来啊，回答我啊。

我哭倒在他床边，拉着他的衣服哭喊着：你为什么要说对不起，连说服我的理由都没有？我不会原谅你，你起来啊，你说对不起没有用啊，你不起来我这辈子都不会原谅你，我求求你....睁开眼睛啊...。

这是他说的一百句对不起...一群医生和护士拉开我，开始抢救他，我全身没有力气再站起来，我的头脑一片空白，眼前一片漆黑..。

他没有离开这个世界，只是我永远都无法触摸到他，但他有时也会在我的梦中出现，告诉我他过的好不好。 他还是陪着我，还是活着，在我心里，他依然如昔，还是会笑着叫我咏熙，叫我老婆，只是..他不再对我说对不起了...。

过了几个月，他妈妈来找我，给了我一个盒子，里面装的，是一百张照片，每一张照片的背面，都写着它让我生气的事情。

第一次对不起，老婆，我今天不是故意迟到的，我也知道理由很烂，但是我真的不忍心说实话，我在出门前突然心脏绞痛，但是我已经尽量赶了，原谅我好吗？

第二次对不起?老婆，我.......... 第三次对不起，老婆，我................................... ............................................................... .........................

第 一百次对不起，老婆，我不是狠心要丢下你，只是上帝似乎不给我这个机会让我爱你一辈子，为你带上戒指，你是我第一个让我说对不起的女孩，也是我第一个想共 度一生的女孩，原谅我不能给你幸福，我会化作天使，守护着你，看着你得到幸福，答应我，别哭，我不要看到你为了我憔悴流泪的样子，我爱你。bye

梦伟我怎么可能不哭，你的要求太严苛了，最后一张照片，是他在医院理拍的，照片上他笑的很灿烂，他变的好瘦，脸色好苍白，但是他还是露出了笑容，拍这第 一百张照片。

在他最虚弱罪痛苦的时候，我没有陪着他。对不起。我抱着他的照片，泪流不止.......

Touching rite...

Find this on my frenz's blog...

Treasure thoes u love....

Dun ever let go....

P/s LG...I love u..

Friday, December 05, 2008 @ Friday, December 05, 2008

" It was a smile that captured people. "

And it was a smile from within your whole being.

After meeting you that day, I asked Sandy: 'Who's the babe?'

It was another day at Spinelli when I bumped into you and I spoke to you and said we should have lunch together.

You probably asked yourself why the first lunch I suggested was at this place, San Marco, at the Fullerton.

It was kind of odd for a first lunch.

I guess we went for our first date on an office lunch, during lunch hour.

Your best attribute was that there was so much love about you.

A selfless love.


It was this love that really struck me about you.


You could be incredibly stubborn at times and incredibly feisty. And you knew what you wanted.

You were very much your own person.


But you also wanted to make people happy, buying drinks for them, to make sure they had a
good time.


You gave your all to people.


Once people got to know you, they would realise what a precious gem you were.


I am 37.


You were 28.


I am nine years older than you.


And when I met you, I knew I wanted to marry you. I waited all my life to find you.


I took you to the Maldives in 2006, just eight months after getting to know you.


And I proposed to you there. On the very night we landed. I guess I couldn't wait.


You claimed you knew I was up to something because I was asking you leading questions, like if you were happy with me.


Being the lawyer, you were quite sharp and knew before I proposed.


We were at a villa at the Banyan Tree in the Maldives at midnight.


Everything was quiet under the beautiful moonlit night. That's when I asked you to be my wife.


You were very happy to say 'yes', and you cried.


You wanted a wedding in Bali. And we really had a beautiful wedding.


This year, we went to Melbourne and returned on 21 Nov.


We met friends there and had a great time.


We were both Kylie Minogue fans and went to her concert here, the night before you left for
Mumbai.


Even though you were that much younger than me, you liked old things, like me.


In the last few weeks of our relationship, it was truly the best moments of my life.


As newlyweds, we had minor teething problems.


We had the occasional tiff. And a few months ago, we had a really good heart-to-heart talk.


I told you it looked like I had my demands not because I wanted you, but because I needed you.


You were really my entire life.


In your obituary, I said: 'My life has no meaning and no purpose.'


That's what I mean right now.


Everything I did, I did for you. My whole life really revolved around you.


You were truly the meaning of my life.


A few months ago, I explained to you that you were not something that was nice to have around.

You were what I needed.


You were part of me.


The last few weeks of your life with me were really, really truly wonderful.


You would have the most beautiful smile for me when you got home. It was truly, truly fantastic.

Marriage was work, we all knew that.


We had achieved some new level in our relationship.


I was indescribably happy. That's why it's even harder for me to talk about it.


I didn't even want you to get wet in the rain. I wanted to make your life as smooth as possible.


Needless to say, being unable to protect you, there's nothing to really say about that.


The day you left for Mumbai, we had to be at the airport by 5.45am.


Your flight was after 7am.


You had to give a talk in Mumbai and you were nervous about it. You went through your whole talk with me at the departure hall.


And I said your speech had substance and that you would charm them.


You reached Mumbai safely and you messaged me. Then came your message; that you had heard gunshots during dinner.


A few messages and phone calls and many agonising hours later, you were gone.


You were so brave.


I could talk for hours about you.


Because, basically, you were a wonderful human being.


Before I came back to Singapore, I did not know how I was going to carry on.


I did not pray after what had happened.


But when we had the first prayer session for you on Monday night, that pain dulled.


God is somehow watching over me.


Right now, it's one day at a time. There's no planning, no thinking of tomorrow.


It's going to be very hard.


I know you want me to live my life.


Whether I can do it or not, that's what my friends and family are for.


Their love, which they are pushing in my direction, is helping me push aside my grief for a while.


I remember my last words to you: 'I love you very much.'


And those were your last words to me, too.


I want people to know what a wonderful person you were.


The babe I had waited for my whole life. "


~written by Lo Hwei Yen's beloved husband



For thoes who had followed the news on the Mumbai attacks.



This is the Singaporean woman who died in the attack...



And this is the letter written by her husband...



The last line...really tugged at my heart...



"The babe I had waited for my whole life..."



The pain....is quite too much for him to bear....



Imagine ur loved one was smiling and joking with you for this minute...



But you received a call telling you that the person you love is not on this Earth anymore....

It's heart-wrenching...

Thursday, December 04, 2008 @ Thursday, December 04, 2008

Today piano lesson was ok...at least I had improve on my first piece tremendously...

After piano, I went down to Eunos Warehouse comples to collect my July pay...

Finally after nearly half a year..I get my 380 dollars back...T.T in joy...

Can repay all my debts le...^^

I am falling in love with her everyday..

When I see her standing there...smiling in that familiar smile which i had it imprint in the back of my mind..

I never knew a person smile can be that beautiful and so sweet..

Through it sounds kinda cheesy...but it's the truth..

I feel my spirit lift up in that instant...

Even sometime..we will have small quarrel here n there...but still....haha..we still make up with a smile..

We went to Mr bean to have some beancurd....miss having my tang yuan..finally can have the chace to eat it...wheeeeee

IT's her first time eating down there...^^

Next we head down to city hall to find some inspiration for her x'mas gifts ...

I finally see my GIANT DALE at popular le..

Feel so happyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

If anyone buy tat for me as x'mas gift..I will LOVE tat person... (only apply to her..)

The big brown squirrel....love at first sight...sigh....

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 @ Tuesday, December 02, 2008

As usual, my mum wake me up nagging that I am a zombie...

@ Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Monday, December 01, 2008 @ Monday, December 01, 2008

I am targeting at this shirt..

like the design...

^^

From http://www.fundthelove.blogspot.com/

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