Sunday, November 09, 2008 @ Sunday, November 09, 2008
"Why do u like to keep talking about your network of lez frenz?"
For a moment, I am seriously taken aback by this question from a friend...
For a min, I feel so confused...like how it grabbed me when i know I am one...
For a sec, how I wish I do not have a network ................
For a millisec, how i wish I am not chatting to my friend at that moment of time...
Her question just kept on reverberating around my mind...knocking at every brain cell, trying in vain to find an anwser to that question...
Why do I have a network of......maybe with one, I feel more safe...I feel I am not alone facing this...I feel that is someone out there dealing the same matter as me...I feel that is someone who I can turn to wherever I feel helpless about this whole thing...
Wherever i hear of LBGT pride...
I ask myself..do I feel proud as being a gurl who like the same gender..
nope...It is nothing to be proud of...It is just me...the ordinary me who prefer the same gender..
I am tired..sometime...facing my relatives and my parent...
Sometime, how i wish I can choose the normal path of dating a guy, marry him and settle down with 2 cute babies...
But the problem is I feel nth...nth...for guy...not even an inche of sexual desire..
Since young, it's always be gurls...
Haiz...i dun wanna say the whole thing again...
I am just like a spoiled cd player..which keep repeating the same old lines...
People will get irritated by keep reading the same old things...
Maybe, i need to stop talking about this matter to my other frenzs..
Maybe something which everybody can related to....
Something harmless...
I am sorry...I wun say this matter again..unless u probe about it again...
--xoxo,
Imaginarist
Imaginarist
